Guess Who’s Back!

It’s me, Mahen, your esteemed Heptanesian blogger supremo! :)

If you’ve been wondering where the hell I’ve been, then hear me out. I’ve taken a trek to the Himalayan hills for six months. I am recharging myself for my next startup, which is currently under the Indian government’s seed funding program.

I will be blogging more often, but in the meantime, follow me on twitter here.

Love,

Mahen

Dating Your Neighbor

154998_1257Sometimes you can find the right girl not in the next city, state or even country, but just next door.
Some of you guys are lucky enough to find out that the right girl for them lives right next door.
This simplifies a lot of things, not to mention it mostly keeps things quite inexpensive. Then again, as with anything in the world, living right next door to your girlfriend can also complicate tons of things. Here’s a list of the advantages and disadvantages of dating the girl next door:

PROS:

  • Dates would be fairly easy. You both don’t need to go far or meet each other if you want to go on a date. You don’t have to drive all the way to the other end of the city to pick your girlfriend up only to drive all the way back to where you are going to have your date. You can leave the house at the same time – saves you gas, money, and a loooot of time driving.
  • Moving in would be really easy. Moving in together would be so much easier if you only have to go next door or across the street from you. You won’t even have to hire a moving van – except, of course, if you want to get a new place together. But to move into one of your current homes would be easy breezy!
  • You can keep your place and still feel like you’ve moved in together. Did you know that the power couple Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter keep two different apartments together? They say having this type of living arrangement allows them to be a couple when they want to and move out like single people at will. Dating your neighbor makes this easily achievable! You can fake move-in and still get to keep a place nearby.
  • You can easily track each other. You both won’t have to go paranoid over whether or not you are lying to each other about your whereabouts. You can’t lie about being alone at your place, and she can’t lie about staying over for the night as her girls go for a nightout. One worry off your worry list!

Guys, click here for a good website on dating advice for men!

CONS:

However convenient and cheap as it may seem, there still are disadvantages to dating your neighbor:

  • Loss of privacy. She knows everything – every.little.thing. If you aren’t in that move-in ready stage in your relationship yet, this is really a huge problem. And this would be a much, much bigger problem if you are dating a psycho, paranoid ultimate clingy girlfriend. Forget about your privacy, she’ll have a key to your house before you know it!
  • Moving on would be difficult. If you breakup, moving on would be really, really challenging. How can you seriously ‘keep your mind off her’ if you see her when you’re taking the trash out? Or when you can see her going on dates? That would be one heck of a big challenge to face.

Please also see my last blog post for more tips and advices. Thanks!

M

Where to Take Your Conservative Date

1176416_59431587Conservative women – yes, they do actually exist – are traditional and would not fall for the usual things and tricks that most men these days use. One very good way to understand how it feels like when dating a traditional and very conservative woman is this: it’s like taking your mother out on a date and work for her to be your girlfriend after some time.

Call them old school, call them boring, but these women just know what they expect from their men and they have higher standards than others. Really, there’s no point in arguing or trying to change her into one of those liberated women that you’re used to. So while you’re at it, I suggest you had better make things right (or at least right in her standards)!

Where to Take Her

One of the biggest and most common challenges about dating a conservative girl is where to take her. You can’t just take her to the latest funny movie can you? Some scenes or lines may actually offend her so that might be too risky for you. The neighborhood bar isn’t really her cup of tea, but the local diner is not really all that romantic enough for a date. So where can you possibly take her that you both might enjoy the date without risking offending her:

  • The good ol’ fancy restaurant. You can never go wrong. They are traditional, this is traditional, and there’s really no harm in bringing her here. She or her family would not have to suspect about you having ulterior motives after the dinner because this is the most public place that you can ever get. Avoid, though, the fancy restaurant at the hotel –it seems suspicious to the most malicious of minds.
  • A local concert. No I am not talking about Green Day or All-American Rejects types of concerts. I don’t even mean Rihanna and certainly no Miley Cyrus concerts anywhere. Go for the local jazz act, the Children’s Ensemble, or Kenny Rogers. Or at least the concert of some musician she likes. Your taste in music could be a little too risqué for her so let her choose anyway. With this you can hack her brain by making her think about you.
  • The art gallery opening. If you have tickets and access to the gala dinner for the gallery opening, she would love it. It is safe, it is public, and it makes you seem like a classy gentleman.
  • The local fair. How much safer and more traditional can you get if you are having a romantic date around kids? You can let our your free child-like spirits without running the risk of offending her with anything (really, there’s absolutely nothing offensive at a child-centered fair) and without her having to worry about what people might think about her going out with some boy.
  • The movies. The movies are totally not out of your options. You can still watch movies, granting that you make her choose the film and make sure it does not contain any dirty humor or anything that’s close to being offensive. Your best choice would be family drama, family comedy, and historic ones.

See this interesting article too.

And always remember to pick her up early and drive her home early too. This way, she’ll definitely like you and have a second date! Be ready!

Please also visit 5 Essential Things that Should be in Every Man’s Closet. Thanks :)

Mistakes Men Make When Picking Up Women

Everyone makes mistakes – it is an inevitable part of human nature. Some big, some small, and some, well –a little embarrassing. And the most embarrassing and most unforgettable of them are those involving dates and trying to get a date: you say the wrong thing, your pick up line is off-timed, or you wore printed pants to go with your printed top. You may even have had one too many servings of gambas and ended up warding off your potential date. Everyone has their own pickup-fail-story to tell (or not tell).

See this related article also.

But then again, no matter how big and bad and embarrassing mistakes are, they are still the best sources of life’s most valuable lessons. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the lesson – or so they say. But you know what, sometimes, you don’t need to make the mistake to learn from it. Sometimes, if you’re really, really wise, then maybe all you need is to learn from those of others.

Mistakes of men when picking up a woman

wrong

What are the mistakes you usually do when picking up a woman.

Here are some of the mistakes men make when picking up women:

  • Trying too hard. It is normal to put your best foot forward when trying to impress women, but to pretend to be someone you’re not, or let your cockiness speak for yourself, or pull out every joke in the ‘How to Make a Woman Laugh’, is a totally different story. It is called trying too hard and this wouldn’t take you anywhere other than the rejection lane. It wouldn’t impress any woman. Keep it light and simple and natural.
  • Trying too little. When you try too little, you are either being overly confident, or you are letting your shyness take you over. Whatever it is, it never works on women. A woman will never discover that great personality bubbling inside you from a single smile, flexing your muscles, or by sitting idly next to her. Be engaging in a conversation, show off some chivalrous moves, show off how interesting you can be!
  • Talking too much about yourself. Please, don’t make a trophy of yourself, mister. Let her discover that without having to make yourself seem like you’re totally into you and not into her! Being too self-centered makes you sound like you’re too in love with yourself and you clearly don’t need her in the picture, learn the right way on how to chat up a girl.
  • Being too aggressive. Girls love the chase, sure. But they want the slow and steady-paced chase, like a harmless little game of catch. She does not want to be chased, helplessly, by a madman looking to pin her to the wall. Cut the aggressive, macho flirting; go for the fun and the friendly. Women would rather go out with men who treat them nicely and sweetly than those who are so strong it’s scares them. So leave the I-am-going-to-conquer-you and the You’re-gonna-be-mine speech to your pizza dinner.
  • Complimenting too much or complimenting too little. Compliments are an integral part of picking women up; but as with anything, they should come in moderation. Compliment too little and you’d fail to make her feel special; compliment too much and you’d be a complete creep.

So, which of these mistakes are you very guilty of?

Guys, thanks for liking my last blog post. Hope you enjoyed reading again!
-Mahen

Planning a Romantic Getaway with Your Girl

Whenever time and money allow, no one can resist the charm of a romantic getaway. There’s always something about being on a ‘romantic getaway’ even if it’s just a trip to some small log cabin in the next town. There’s something about planning on what to do in your time alone together. And especially for the ladies, it is even more special and touching when the man initiates it himself.

If you’re planning to put some of your romantic gear for your ladylove through a sweet holiday escape, here are some tips to make it extra, extra special and transform the usual R n’ R into something of “Romance n’ Rawrrr”.

  • Budget. You either have to have the money for it, or find some place that will fit within your budget. When it comes to budget, there are three things that you actually have to consider and I’ll categorize them into Before, During, and After. The ‘Before’ part covers all the expenses you will incur prior to the getaway. Would you need to buy new clothes for it? Don’t forget to add gas money (if driving) or plane/train tickets for transportation. The ‘During’ part includes all the expenses for lodging, food, and activities. If you have the money, splurge! Here are Forbes’ top vacation spots, just in case. You don’t want to miss out on the town’s popular bungee jumping amenity do you? The ‘after’ part is where most people – not just men – fail. Sure you have budget for souvenirs and the ride back home, but will you have enough for the next work day or are you going home flat broke? Make sure you have enough cushion money between rich and broke even after the holiday is over.
carribean

If you have the money, by all means, take her to a Carribean cruise.

  • Time. The last thing you want is to spend all your big bucks on a Caribbean cruise and find out later that she was not granted leave. Make sure you both have the time for the getaway – enough time for fun and romance that is. There is very little quality without some quantity on this one! And when you do find the time for it, make sure you spend it wisely.
  • Have a plan. So you have the money, you got your time off from work, and you’re ready to leave. Now what? When you’ve found the perfect destination, make sure you do your fair share of research to know what the place offers. Have an itinerary of things that you would do while there – but stay flexible! Here are some of the best places to go on a date. Don’t be such a prick if it rains on your supposed kite-flying date at the beach.
  • Plan a special surprise. It could be a wedding proposal, a special romantic dinner at the hotel rooftop, or a new set of sizzling hot lingerie. Whatever it is, plan something that will make the event very memorable, especially for her.

Guys, here’s the truth about women: it’s never always about how expensive the holiday is; it’s about how special you made us feel on our time alone. Be your sweetest, most romantic self and let out your inner Dr Love. If you are still unsure of what to do, read this SIBG guide.

How to Be Date-Ready Every Day

I was looking at my blog posts and I realized I’ve been writing about not-so-happy posts like relationship problems, cheating and breakups. So here I am trying to make up for it. Hope ya like it!

Women are notorious for extreme preparations. While some of us in the female kind may have missed the gene that says we are always ready for any event, most of us are wired to be ready for anything. If you check a woman’s bag, you’ll be surprised to find everything from an extra stash of flip flops (for when the legs give way for standing in heels for hours), an extra pair of undies, to some surprise stash of glue to go with her makeup kit. On top of that, women seem to have the knack to be date-ready at any given day. They wear clothes that can go from sun up to sun down, from the office to the club kind of look. Needless to say, women are good at preparing for surprises – even surprise dates.

But what about you men? How well prepared are you if life does throw you a surprise date in the face? Would you be caught dead by a woman in better-left-at-home shirts and three-week-old jeans or would you politely decline because you’re ready? How do you make sure you always ready for a date every day?

Here are some tips that you can get from girls:

  • Always keep an emergency stash of everything. In your office drawer, gym
    dental hygiene

    Brush your teeth, keep some box of floss in your pocket or bag, breath mints or spray, and shower regularly.

    locker, or car trunk, make sure you have your go-to bag for surprise dates a la Superman. Your emergency stash should have an extra shirt, some clean pair of socks, and cleaning implements like toothbrush and deodorant. When it comes to stocking emergency clothes, always go for items that go well with anything.

  • Keep a hygienic lifestyle. Brush your teeth, keep some box of floss in your pocket or bag, breath mints or spray, and shower regularly. The only things worse than be caught in a fashion mishap on a date are hygiene-related mishaps i.e. bad breath, food stuck between teeth, bad body odor, etc.
wallet

Keep some cash, coins, and credit cards safely in your wallet. You’ll never know where you’d end up for dinner so at least be ready and don’t run the risk of having to ask your date to pay for your dinner.

  • Always have cash. Seriously, how can anyone go through a day outside without cash? Keep some cash, coins, and credit cards safely in your wallet. Although there may be rules on who should pay and when, it is always wise to be ready especially if you’re asking a date out spontaneously. You’ll never know where you’d end up for dinner so at least be ready and don’t run the risk of having to ask your date to pay for your dinner because you were not financially equipped that day.
  • Wear good clothes. Your favorite jeans that recently had a hole close to the crotch area and whose rips at the leg seams could barely see another day are better left at home. In the attic. With the rats. Or at least for when you’re fixing your car or going fishing or cleaning the trash bin. You should never wear bad clothes when you go out because you might not get a chance to run home for a quick change.
  • Keep your communication lines open. So you’re ready for any last minute date. You have everything else above but you forgot to charge your phone and you are nowhere near an electric outlet. Hah! Tough luck! Never leave the house with an almost dead phone – remember that for all kinds of emergencies.

Lastly, and naturally, it pays to read good advice on how and where to meet women.

Solving Relationship Problems: What Women Want from Men When Problems Arise

My mother always tells me that problems, fights, arguments are the spices of the relationship. It’s not enough that you know how to get a girl to like you, you also need to understand women. They add some flavor and variety to an otherwise sickly sweet relationship. These things make the relationship more interesting and exciting and dynamic – it makes it alive. They make or break a relationship and those who make it come out stronger.

sadwoman

Women have different ways of coping.

The biggest challenges are not the problems themselves but on how to overcome them. Even when your woman is cheating, it doesn’t mean dead end. Women have different ways of coping, men have different ways of coping with it but what actually matters is on how couples resolve the conflict where their methods meet halfway.
Sometimes, and a lot of women – myself included – complain about how men cope with the trouble that of make the problem even worse than it is. While women tend to blow things out of proportion, men tend to underestimate the problem and that irks us women up.

From a woman’s perspective, here are things that we hope our men would do during a conflict:

  • Calm us down. Women overreact. Women panic – a lot. It must be a hormonal thing but the first thing that comes to women’s minds is panic. And it gets worse when our partners get mad at us for panicking. Men should do otherwise. One effective way to calm women is through silence. Yes, you don’t know the power of silence until you try it. Instead of going against the flow of your woman’s angry energy, calm us down. Women rely on men’s logic on so many things and in conflict situations, that’s what we hope to get from you.
  • Speak up. Some men just space out in the middle of the problem. If you need time for yourself, if you need the space to think things through, by all means say it! You’re afraid we’d flip out? Yes but if you say it honestly, chances are we’d give you the peace that we think we both need. Having you around, disinterested and cold, would only dishearten us even more and worsen the situation.
  • Don’t laugh at us. Nothing irks me more than when my partner laughs like a maniac when I’m already hysterical and impassioned over a fight. It annoys us to think that you’re not taking us seriously. If you think we are overreacting, say so and say why. We also know how to listen you know.
  • Disappear. Ahh I know some men who are better at walking out and go missing than the best actors in Hollywood history. Really? REALLY?!! Walk out and leave your girl thinking whether you’ve deserted her for life or if you’re dead or kidnapped by Martians. Seriously, though, I don’t know how some women can notoriously deal with it on a regular basis.

And finally, sometimes all it takes is a HUG. A tight, quiet, sincere embrace could encourage us better than any form of poetry. It takes nothing more than a hug to quietly, effectively reassure us that we are in this problem together and we’re going to make it through this.

Now I’d be so interested to know what men would expect from women in relationship-crises situations.

How to Break Up With a Girl

Interestingly, this looks like a sequel to my last post. Enjoy!

Breaking up is always hard to do, unless you were born with a heart as cold as stone. It does not even matter who is breaking up with who; there will always be attachments to the relationship no matter how bad or short or shallow it was.

And to be the one who’s breaking it off – especially if it is not a mutual decision – is even harder. And if you think that’s the hardest part, ask any guy who has ever had to break up with his girlfriend. Any sensitive, normal male human being with normal emotions has always had to suck it all on, muster every ounce of courage just to say the right words while trying hard to do as little damage to the girl as possible.

Thanks to the male-dominated society of ours that has been wired to believe that women are weak and will breakdown, women are expected to break up with men just as society dictates that men should pursue the women. And any reversal of roles would be tantamount to social ridicule.

That is why for most men, breaking up with women is just as crucial as a brain surgery. You try your best to do the least damage even when you know you’re tearing her apart. That even when she does not care about you, a woman would feel demoralized at the thought of getting the blow of breakup instead of having to do it.

sadwoman

Comfort her when she breaks down.

Here’s a cheat sheet from a woman to a man on how to properly breakup with a girl:

  •  Give nonverbal clues prior to breaking up. You don’t breakup with your girl on a whim, right? It’s not some act of impulse so naturally and logically I believe you’ve thought about it. Do not take her by surprise; if you have been thinking about it for a while, at least try to detach from her little by little. When you propose the “we need to talk” meeting, she’d most likely get a clue. Be careful on this part, though. There are cases when breakup hints are misinterpreted as marriage proposals. No kidding!
  • Do it when you’re alone. Do not do it in public; some of us girls just can’t beat the pressure and breakdown. Don’t do it with your friends or hers – it’s between you two.
  • Don’t be confrontational and aggressive. Try as best as you can to stay calm and composed.
  • Be honest. There’s a fine line between honesty and rudeness; you are not taking this opportunity to slap her in the face of all her shortcomings as a girlfriend (I have every reason to believe she has her own armoire of complaints on your being a boyfriend).
  • Don’t let her speak until you’ve finished. Let her listen to what you have to say. Again, do this calmly and honestly.
  • Don’t make empty promises. Don’t let her hang on top false hopes like ‘I just need this time to sort things out but I’ll be back” or “we can still be friends”. That’s not what she hopes to hear.
  • Listen to her when she tries to reason out, comfort her when she breaks down, don’t get mad when she gets mad, and don’t let her hang on to something you’re not sincere about. Finish it off with a sincere apology and an offer to take her home or call her friend.

Now before trying to ask another girl out, read this blog post at SonicSeduction.net.

My Girlfriend’s Other Boyfriend

One’s lonely, two’s a party and three is…a third party?

While open relationships are still getting more and more popular among many unconventional couples, there still are men who are hidden in the secret quarters as the “other boyfriend”. They are the ones who are usually content with secret calls, secret dates, and secret codes.

The problem with this kind of setup is, even if you know all the best date places, you can’t just go to them, for fear that people might see you together.

I am not talking about guys who are going out with players and are unaware of what’s going on behind his back. I am talking about guys who actually go behind the back of other men to sneak in on their girls.

There are three common types of men who agree to be the other men:

  • The I’ll-do-it-all-for-love type of guy. They are aware that their girlfriends are taken and they don’t care. They live for their clandestine meetings and they’re doing it out of love. And worse, they are willing to wait for the day the girl finally “musters the courage to break up with their current loves” and give up everything only for him.
  • Mr. Competition. They are the type of men who live for the competition. They love the rush of getting to snag a girl even when she’s already dating someone. They get a certain sense of ego high from knowing a girl would cheat for them; but they are not keepers. They are in it for the competition and they lose interest in the women as soon as she falls for him and gives up her current love.
  • In-It-Just-For-The-Sake-Of-It. Just as the name suggests, they cheat with another girl just because. No romantic reason, no psychological whatever thingamajigs, na-da. They enjoy the company when it’s there, and they’re practically fine with someone else too. For whatever reason you or a guy friend is in it, there are enough reasons to break it off.
backdoor guy

Whether you’re her first or second boyfriend, it still makes you the third party. Is it worth it?

  • Yes, including you Mr I’ll-do-it-all-for-love. Let me talk you out of it with these reasons:

Karma is just around the corner. With your fifteen minutes of happiness being the other guy, some other guy is getting disadvantaged. And if the universe turns its karma button on you, what goes around comes around and you may be in the exact same position as that other guy too in some other moment in your life.

What makes you think you’re the only one? Dear men, girls can be players too. So if she’s cheating on him for you, what assures you that he is not double-cheating on her girlfriend and you?

It may not be the safest place to be. You can never be too sure that you’re the only one she’s hooking up with, or that her current fling does not own a gun and has anger management issues. Hooking up with some other guy’s girl may just endanger your health or your life.

Regular ones are less complicated. You can go out freely and in the open without any danger of being seen by people her boyfriend knows. Plus you don’t feel like the booty call guy so your ego and dignity is intact at the end of the day.

Remember, there is plenty of fish in the ocean! If you need help in meeting new women, click here. You’ll get all the help you’ll need. Go fishing!

How Social Media Can Hurt Your Relationship

Everyone is on Facebook. Even my 50-something mom finds her way tinkering through Likes and Shares and comments. And I cannot even decide where to begin on telling you the tales of how many people are on Twitter and Instagram. It would probably be easier to count how many are not on any of the social media sites around.

I was pretty content on doing my thing on Facebook – liking stuff, sharing them someone who is a million miles away from me, and reading about other people’s and couple’s life updates.  It was okay until it started bugging me how other couples talk about their personal problems on Facebook, how they indirectly target each other in posts and comments and how they break-up-and-make-up on the social media portal. And it gets worse when you’re friends with both of them. I had the urge to message them both and tell them how it would be so much easier if they take everyone else out of the problem and talk about it ALONE. But, the most that I could do was ‘hide’ them from my News Feed and be spared of their little fights.

Social media can make or break a relationship. Be careful!

Social media can make or break a relationship. Be careful!

 And then it annoyed me even further when my supposed anti-social girlfriend started getting friend requests and messages from unknown men. I am just happy she never responded to them, but it still didn’t feel too good when other men made pretty apparent advances with their private messages EVEN WHEN THEY COULD DELIBERATELY SEE THAT SHE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP and the photo on his profile says exactly that.

I was lucky she ignored them all and kept her Facebook with only two friends (me and my mom). If I discovered she was taking it with them to the next level, I would have had my heartbreak then. But other girls didn’t have it as easily. I know a couple who broke up over a girl whom the guy met on FB. Isn’t that just such an annoying way to end a relationship? Oh, yeah, that too. They broke up on the site too. *facepalm meme here*

How Social Media Can Hurt A Relationship

All this realization got me thinking however: whose fault is it when relationships are affected by your involvement on social media sites – yours or the sites? I take the former. Here are some of the most common ways your social media behavior hurts your relationship:

1. Divulging too much – I don’t understand how others find delight in telling the world the dirtiest detail of their personal problems and being ‘feasted on’ by so-called Facebook friends. There is a clear distinction between private and social and personal fights are rather kept private. Go ahead, tell your FB friends the best dating places you two have discovered, but please do away without the intimate photos. You are subjecting your relationship to opinions that really don’t matter and that could sway how you should deal with your problems. And oh, unless you guys are totally over, stop playing with the relationship status button.

2. Believing too much – the internet can create wings on lions and you can be practically anything you want to be on the web. Do not believe everything people say about you or your partner on Facebook or risk losing your relationship over some fake comment.

3. Entertaining too much – there just are things on Facebook that are better left ignored. Like the sexy bikini photo of some girl you knew in college – liking that can create a war. Or answering back to a provocative message flirtatiously – really man, why?

4. Privacy issue – I’ve seen couples fight and break up over passwords. But ask yourself, do I need to share my passwords with him/her? How much do you trust each other over your passwords? How private should you be on your social media sites?

Like everything and anything, social media requires a lot of responsibility. And yes, it should not be as valuable as your relationship. Handle it well!

Being in a digital age doesn’t mean signing up for all the new networking sites. It entails responsibility from every member, too, to protect their own privacy. And if you can’t handle rejection, might as well stay away from these sites as much as you can so as not to anger your partner.

Hope you learned a little something from me today! TIll next time!

-Dr. Mahen